Archive for October, 2007

16
Oct

What the frick?!

By Markislav 0 Comments
Categories: Rants

So, once again, I’ve fallen asleep on the lounge watching one thing, only to wake up two and a half hours later to find I’m watching something completely different.

Usually it’s not that bad, sometimes it’s funny.

I’ll fall asleep watching Conan, and find I’m now watching Wonderful World of Sex or something.

But this time, I fell asleep watching some movie, I can’t remember what, and I woke up to find I was watching that Russell Crowe movie where he’s a Neo-Nazi skinhead guy. You know that movie.

Well, from now on, I have a dislike for Russell Crowe.

Some Vietnamese guys (I think they were Vietnamese?) were playing pool in a pub, and so Russell Crowe and his filthy skinhead friends with absolutely “completely-turned-me-gay-they-were-that-fucking-disgustingly-filthy” female skinhead friends turned up, and started beating the motherfrick out of these two guys!

I’m sure there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for all the white supremacy in the beginning of the film. I just didn’t get to see that part. My loss of course.

Now I’m purely just basing my judgments of the film on the twenty minutes of the middle that I watched, but based solely on that part of the movie, there are two questions that I am finding impossible to answer in my head…

First of all, is this really the message that we want to be sending to the rest of the world about Australians?

The American population is already quite visibly and obviously retarded when it comes to their perceptions about our country. Do we really need “oh snap! they a bunch of nazi’s!” (pronounced rhyming with snazzy-s) added to the annoyingly long list of misconceptions about Australia, already containing things like pet kangaroos, the entire population’s uncanny ability to play the didgeridoo, the terms “crikey” and “lets throw another shrimp on the barbie”, and of course the ever lovely compliment frequently paid by Americans to traveling Australians, “Wow, you speak good American for an Australian”.

Now I also realise as I write this, that the movie I’m talking about, which I still can’t remember the name of, was made quite some time ago, but still.

Oh yeah! Second question. What in god’s name possessed Russell Crowe to star in a movie playing a skinhead Neo-Nazi who beats the living frick out of innocent Vietnamese as a way of getting back at the “Asian Invasion”?

But furthermore, how is it that Russell Crowe can play the aforementioned role, and still go on to be one of Australia’s most famous acting exports?

The same Russell Crowe that is actually from… New Zealand!

Dun dun dun…

Once again, I’ve started writing with no real end goal in mind.

If you’ve seen the whole of the Nazi movie, could you please tell me if my judgments of it are in fact wrong, and the movie does have some sort of good message about it or something.

14
Oct

The name Markislav.

By Markislav 0 Comments
Categories: Rants

Why is it, that people have such a weird reaction to the name Markislav?

I mean, sure, I did actually just invent the name, adding -slav to my original name.

But still!

I usually get a reaction that is something similar to one of the following.

(All at work, I might add, after people read my badge.)

Most people don’t get how to pronounce it. Countless times, I have people come up and we have this conversation:

“Oh, how do you pronounce your name?”
“Markislav.”
“[Insert bad attempt at pronouncing simple name]”
“Markislav.”

Then usually, that conversation will be followed with:

“Thats interesting. Is it Croatian?”

Everybody always asks me if it’s Croatian. To save confusion, I always just tell them, “It’s Russian”.

They mostly always just tell me, “Thats very interesting”, and the conversation ends there.

Once or twice they’ve continued into “So you’re Russian?”, to which I reply with a very simple “Yes”, or “Yes, half-Russian, half-Australian.”

BUT!

Now this is the main reason I started writing this.

Some people have believed my name is just some sleazy attempt to pick up girls or something.

This one guy, who I work with, comes up to me, with which this conversation is had:

“What does your name badge say?”
“Markislav.”
“Markislav?”
“Yes, Markislav.”
“Is that like, Mark-is-love, or something?”
“No, it’s like Markislav, my name.”
“Aha…”

Cockbag.

Same thing went when someone, I can’t remember who, was on the phone to their father possibly, and I’m all like, “Tell him Markislav says HI!”, he told them “Mark says HI!”, and then I yelled, “NO! Markislav says HI!”, to which I hear loudly through the phone, “Alright! Mark-is-love, jesus, I get it.” It also sounded like he rolled his eyes at me, over the phone.

Assface.

Do I really seem that desperately sleazy that I would invent a name, that sounded kind of similar to “Mark-is-love” if you’re some ignorant westie Australian fuck who doesn’t get other cultures, as some incredibly sleazy, obviously “never-going-to-work”, way of picking up girls?

If I was anyway Slavic, in the slightest, I would be incredibly insulted if people thought that about my name.

Sure, I’m the only Markislav that has to worry about this, but what about other people in similar name situations?

What about all the Stanislavs?
All of the Tomislavs?
Vladislavs?
Miroslavs?
Borislavs?

I swear, as a tribute to my Slavic brothers and sisters, or seeing as I’m not Slavic in the slightest, cousins, whose parents have chosen to give their son or daughter the most precious gift of a name with the “-slav” suffix, which means “glory”, I will punch the next moronic uneducated bogan Australian fuck who thinks my name is nothing more than a sleazy pick up line.

Sure he’ll kick my ass, because I’m sure I’d fight like an 11 year old girl, but the principle of my actions will be there. Plus he’ll be drunker than I will be, and will have a long neck of VB which he would hit me with. Because that’s just what they carry with them all the time.

And thats pretty much it for my 3am ramblings about my name.

I haven’t had anything to drink, but I’m in a weird state of “was kind of sleeping on the lounge, just got up, feeling a bit stumble-y, more-so than when I’ve been drinking, now I have a weird woozy headache thing, and I ramble about shit”.

I might write something about that later.